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| BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY ISSUE 1 JULY 2000 | Last Updated 7-4-2000 | Volume 1 |
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For the lack of words, for if not for the gossipers, life would be dull and sickning sweet. Beauty shops and fishing trips would be places you would rather not be. > There was a Scotsman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting > together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly > the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, > there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then > there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. > When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the > Scotsman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman > had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. > > The Englishman was thinking: 'The Scotish fella must have kissed > Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead. > > 'Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to > kiss me and actually kissed the Scotsman and got slapped for it.' > > And the Scotsman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train > goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise again and slap that > English bastard again . |
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